10 things you learn when you stop yelling at your kids

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Catherine Le Nevez
@catherinelenevez
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Sometimes children exaggerate their enthusiasm and make us lose patience: in these cases it is easy to get nervous and scream out of control. It is obviously much better to try to remain calm even in the most chaotic situations.



A mom blogger fromHuffington Post, who has a site called "The Orange Rhino", explained to readers the benefits of deciding not to scream anymore with his 4 children and instead always stay calm just like the " rhinos ", generally quiet animals. Here are 10 great things the writer mom admits she learned after her choice to "control anger" and not yell at her kids.



Read also: 11 tips to calmly manage children's anger

In this article

 



  • "Stop screaming" contributes to the growth of the serenity of the whole family
  • "My children are my most important audience"
  • "Children are children, but they are also people"
  • "Even if I can't control my children's actions, I can always control my reaction"
  • Yelling doesn't work
  • If you scream, you may be missing out on unique moments
  • Before yelling, use the word "at least"
  • "Often, I am the problem, not my children"
  • "Taking care of myself helps me avoid screaming"
  • Not screaming is good for everyone

1. "Stop screaming" contributes to the growth of the serenity of the whole family

The blogger mom said: "After my choice, I finally got the feeling that I haven't spent a whole year screaming with my kids and husband." So, if you don't cry out, family tranquility increases.



2. "My children are my most important audience"

"When I made the decision not to scream anymore, I realized that I had never done it in the presence of others because I wanted strangers to believe that I was a loving and patient mom. So I started thinking about always having an audience in front of me. to me: my four boys always look at me and I am the audience that matters most.

It is they - and not strangers - who I intend to show how loving and patient I can be. I want my kids to judge me and say, "My mom is the best mom ever!" Says the blogger.

3. "Children are children, but they are also people"

"Like me, my children also have good days and bad days. In some days the little ones are pleasant and sweet and listen to me, in others they are grumpy and difficult to manage. And like all children, sometimes they are noisy, they refuse to put on their shoes and maybe color and draw the white wall. So, in those days, I need to remind myself that they are children: they are learning, they are growing and they are still trying to understand how to manage their emotions ".

When children "make mistakes," remember that not only does screaming not help, but that they don't like being scolded, just as adults don't.

4. "Even if I can't control my children's actions, I can always control my reaction"

When children do not listen or cause a lot of chaos, sometimes it is better to walk away, breathe, regain clarity and then return to them with a new approach, which is not that of anger.

"Walking away and taking a little break before exploding can avoid uncontrolled outbursts of anger," explains the writer.

5. Yelling doesn't work

"Over time I have learned that yelling just doesn't work, that it makes things even more chaotic and that it makes it difficult for children to hear what you want them to learn."

How can the little ones listen to their mother telling them what to do, when she offers them a confused and noisy mix of intimidation and orders that only make them cry? (It may interest you: Lively children, 8 strategies to manage them without screaming and slapping)

6. If you scream, you may be missing out on unique moments

"One night I heard footsteps downstairs. It was my son. Although I immediately got nervous, I remained calm and took the baby back to bed. As I put him under the covers, he said to me," Mom, I will love you forever. "Now I still get tears in my eyes when I look back on it. I can guarantee that if I had yelled "GO TO BED!", I would never have received such a sweet and important statement, "said the blogger.

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7. Before yelling, use the word "at least"

The word "at least", when used before exploding with a memorable scream, delivers a great one perspective and remember that it is appropriate to relax.

For example, the sentence "The baby just dropped a whole jug of milk on the floor ... almeno it was not glass and almeno he's trying to help me clean up! "gives a nervous parent new perspectives. And that sounds better, doesn't it?

8. "Often, I am the problem, not my children"

"I quickly realized that I often felt the need to scream because I had argued with my husband or I was overwhelmed by my to-do list, I was tired or I had periods. Not because the children had behaved badly", explains the mother.

Being aware of the fact that you are nervous for other reasons helps you not to shout and stop a moment earlier.

9. "Taking care of myself helps me to avoid screaming"

"I've always been good at caring for others, but I haven't been as good at caring for myself. After realizing that personal factors like feeling overweight, being away from friends and exhausted for various reasons made me scream, I started to take better care of myself. I started, for example, going to bed earlier, giving priority to training, calling a friend a day and, above all, I started telling myself it's OK not to be perfect. Taking care of myself not only doesn't make me scream, it also makes me happier, more relaxed and more loving, "says" The Orange Rhino ".

"And I've had other unexpected benefits: I do more random acts of kindness, I handle stressful situations with more grace, and I communicate better with my husband."

10. Not screaming is good for everyone

"Now that I've stopped screaming, I go to bed guilt-free (except for the extra cookie I ate on a given day ...) and wake up more confident that I can be a parent who understands better and more. children and my own needs. And I'm pretty sure my kids feel happier and more peaceful. "

In fact, being calm allows you to think more rationally and better solve potential problems.

"The children are much more affectionate towards me and now they say to me more and more often" I love you, mom ". And this, more than beautiful, is phenomenal!", Concludes the blogger.

Read also: 11 tips to calmly manage children's anger

Questions and answers

Why is it useful not to yell at children if they have a tantrum? 

Staying calm allows you to think more rationally and solve problems better.

TAG:
  • yell at children
  • psyche
  • children education
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