Does your child reject you? Here are 8 possible reasons

You would like to hug and cuddle the little one, but he refuses you. He pushes you away or walks away. And you feel bad about it. But you don't have to worry too much, the moods of the children change suddenly. And the best advice is to let this attitude pass, like a thunderstorm.

But let's see what could be the causes that lead a child to reject mom and dad. Here is what Susanne Ayers Denham, a developmental psychologist, writes on

1 The little one may have had a bad day

Just like adults, there are days when children would like to hide under a stone and stay there all day. Fortunately, however, the problems of children are less complicated than those of adults.

Frustration and disappointment can manifest themselves for small problems: for example, someone in the park did not respect his turn to go on a swing; Or he was reprimanded in the nursery. Either way, your child wants to be on his or her behalf.

What to do? Respect his distance deso, but let him know that you are there in case he wants your help. He probably just needs to be alone for a while to "lick his wounds."

2 It is the consequence of a whim

If he drives you away immediately after you have taken him back and maybe put him in punishment, it is completely normal that he behaves like this: his feelings have been hurt and he wants to let you know.

Or he's just tired, a whim in a big way, with shouting, screaming and crying, takes the energy out of anyone.

Read also: Children's whims, how to manage them from 0 to 16 years. The secret is empathy

What to do? First of all, accept that he feels disappointed. Think about how you would feel after an argument with your partner or friend. You too would probably need a moment of quiet to recover.
What you can do, however, is show him that you understand his feelings: "I know you're angry because your mom didn't let you play in the park ..." let him know you're there for when he wants to be hugged. Assure him that despite the whim, you still love him.

3 He's upset with you and doesn't know how to tell you

The way children experience emotions is complex. They can express their feelings, but they still don't know how to talk about it. Maybe you came back from work later and he missed you; Or maybe he is angry that you spent a lot of time with his newborn baby brother.
In any case the situation is that his feelings have overwhelmed him but he doesn't know how to let you know.

What to do? If you suspect that there is some reason for your child's reaction ask him, in a polite way, eg: "Did it seem like it wasn't too much time with you?". And accept without judging his answer.
Maybe it makes you sick to hear that he's mad at you about something, but rest assured his feelings are not permanent. By talking about it with you, they will shrink.

4 It is in a phase of independence

When he was one year old he was always attached to your womb. Now growing up it happens that you refuse. This could be why he needs you less; or it is testing your love by pushing you away; or he is busy doing something and his attention is elsewhere (and with your requests for kisses you are interrupting him).

Read also: 10 PRACTICAL ways to educate children about autonomy

What to do? Don't take his waste too seriously. He loves you, but maybe in that moment he doesn't need your hugs and kisses.
Keep your caresses for bedtime, when he is not busy. He knows you love him and when he feels like cuddling he will know where to find you.

Read also: Kisses in the mouth of children


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How many times have you thought about photographing the disasters your children have combined, if only to remember the irony and fun they aroused in you? Here is a series ...

5 He just wants a parent

When you get close, he rejects you, while his dad asks for kisses and cuddles (or vice versa).

What to do? It is normal for children to go through stages of rejection of a parent, especially if one of them is working outside the home full time.

But if you think the child's attitude is something more significant, try to analyze your and your partner's behavior. Is one of you unwittingly encouraging this favoritism?
Perhaps without realizing it, when your husband comes home, you are annoyed. Or your husband expects the little one to run towards him with open arms, when he instead needs some time to warm up ....

Read also: I (always) want mom!

6 Not a guy who expresses his affection with physical contact

What to do? If your child seems distant to you, you have to accept how he is done.
Even if he has an autonomous temperament, there will still be occasions when he will need your hug, for example when he is angry or when he is afraid. Learn to read his emotions and offer your love when he needs it.

7 He is not physically well

Your normally cuddly baby is suddenly impatient and irritable and pushes you back when you try to hug him.

What to do? If it's a very relevant change in attitude, consider one pediatrician visit. There may be a physical problem, such as an allergy or something else.

8 He is angry and acts improperly

Some children may occasionally cross the line and their reactions may be violent (pushing, hitting, or biting, for example).

Read also: My baby bites: what to do?

What to do? It is important to take a very clear stance against any kind of violent outburst. You have to make the rules and consequences very clear: "Mom doesn't want you to behave like this ... otherwise we'll go home / we won't go to the park ..."
And don't forget to apply them!

Read also: Why it is important to give rules to children, according to the method of emotional education

See also the video: the greatest value you would like to pass on to your child?

Updated on 27.11.2022

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  • baby does not want mom's kisses
  • the child does not want cuddles
  • child only wants a parent
  • child character
  • child manage frustrations
  • little affectionate child
  • 3-5 children years
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