Your son has always been a silent child. Even now that he is growing up he speaks little, in groups he tends to "blend in" and at parties he prefers reading. He has nothing wrong with him: he is simply an introvert.
Read also: how to help a shy child
Perhaps your fear is that he will be branded as a "loser" and withdraw into himself. To avoid this, a useful reading is Quiet Power, the superpowers of introverts (Bompiani) by the American Susan Caine, founder of a site (quietrev.com) entirely dedicated to the topic. As an introverted ex-child, she organizes courses to help "hedgehogs" of all ages to enhance their strengths.
"There are extroverts in the world, projected outward and into action, and introverts, attracted by interiority and reflection ", explains Adele Fabrizi, psychotherapist. “Nobody, of course, is 100% one way or another: even an introvert loves to travel or be with friends, but in his own way. The problem is that today I especially consider positive qualities such as being popular, holding the bank, having hundreds of friends. Instead, even the "hedgehogs" are vital and curious people. And with unique resources, which deserve to be enhanced ».
Susan Caine explains how, in a class, the more reserved pupils are best suited to lead a group. The reason? They are not self-centered and give space for everyone. Thanks to their skills of introspection, memory and logic, then, they displace teachers with original solutions. And, when they argue, they don't attack but explain their point of view.
"Introversion is not a disease", adds Maria Elena Magrin, professor of wellness psychology at the Bicocca University of our city.
«In adolescence, the effort of growing up is the same for introverts and extroverts. The ideal would be to support each other. How? The introvert will help the friend reflect and pay more attention to others. While, in turn, he will be encouraged by the extrovert to come out of himself, to expose himself more ».
1 Reassure him
When you seem to lose self-confidence, point out to your child that they don't all need to be made a certain way to be successful.
2 REMEMBER THAT IT'S NOT ALONE
Emphasize the value of the bonds of friendship he has: it is not their quantity, but the quality that counts.
3 ENCOURAGE THEM TO DARE
One step at a time, push him to overcome his resistance to the new. Evening outings in groups, a study holiday away from home, a play, a team sport: these are all stimulating experiences.
4 ENHANCE HIS PASSIONS
Whether it's swimming, drawing or writing, let him cultivate his passions. Starting from what he loves and does well will give him the strength to try to reach other and new goals, to get involved in many and new different ways.
READ ALSO THE SELF-ESTEEM OF CHILDREN, THE GOLDEN RULES FOR GROWING IT
- introverted child
- 3-5 children years