May, June and July are the busiest months for the kids who will have to face thegraduation exam. Stress is skyrocketing not only for students, but also for their families, who are called upon to support them. THE Parents who find themselves dealing with an irritable and anxious teenager certainly does not have an easy task.
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Le causes of anxiety, according to the boys, they are different: from the family pressure for the best result, which clashes with the sense of guilt for not having studied enough, to the fear of speaking in front of the professors; from emotional immaturity to poor self-image, which can lead to negative thoughts and, at worst, self-sabotage. (Also read tips for managing anxiety)
How to cope with maturity: advice for parents
Some advice for mothers and fathers struggling with this situation comes from Nan Coosemans, family coach who for about twenty years has been working in the world of personal development in contact with children and adolescents, helping them in their personal growth path and author of the book "What boys don't say ”(Sperling & Kupfer).
1. Manage your mood
“Remember that this process involves your child first and foremost: he has to learn, fall and get up on his own. As a parent you can only be a good guide. Having more time for him during the whole exam period can be very useful for making him feel support ».
2. Put your expectations in the drawer
“The best thing you can do is talk openly with your child about his or her expectations and yours. If his are very high, at the same time his stress level will be too high ».
3. Find a time to talk
“If you see him more stressed, nervous and agitated, take a moment to talk to your son. Before going to bed it may be the right time, the one in which he is most tired and emotionally weaker ».
4. Create a study plan with your child
"Define small goals: often kids are not yet able to manage their time, so they suffer more from the pressure as soon as they realize they have to study a lot in just two weeks."
5. Help them find time for themselves, to play sports, relax or hang out with friends
"Concentration doesn't have to be just on exams, it risks being a boomerang."
6. Communicates effectively, especially when their trust is low
«'I am not capable, I will never make it!': When he is afraid, remind him how many times in the past he has achieved the results and that this time too he will succeed».
8. Whatever results you bring home, stay calm and always be supportive
“When kids feel their parents aren't supportive, they get even worse. And compliments are always welcome ».
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