Sooner or later all children ask the fateful question and, at any age, creates a thousand doubts for parents, who do not know if and until when to resort to imaginative stories of cabbages and storks and when to deal with the topic of sex in a scientific way. '. Simple to say, but we must also deal with our embarrassment in the face of questions that we would gladly fail to answer.
"And instead an answer must always be given to the child, whatever age he is" replies Scalari, a developmental psychologist. "Curiosity should not be 'capped', because, if we show we want to repress it, it is as if we were telling it not to ask us inconvenient questions".
What answer to give then? The answer must be proportional to the age and tranquility with which we parents feel we are dealing with the subject. Taking care not to say more than what the child is asking of us at that moment.
The story of the seed and the egg: this is how a child is born
Younger children can be explained in a very simple way that the child is born thanks to the meeting of mom and dad, because the dad has seeds that enter the body of the mother who has eggs and from the union of a seed and a egg develops the baby.
If you then ask how this meeting takes place, you can help us with the design of a book, showing how the male protuberance was created on purpose by nature to enter the butterfly (or as we are used to calling it in our family jargon) and deposit let him sow. Usually these answers are more than enough to satisfy the first curiosities.
The role of attraction and love
However, if the child asks other questions, it is a sign that he has already acquired his information, from the media or from friends, and wants to understand us more. “It's an event that happens with older children,” says Scalari. "In this case, before rushing to give other explanations, we ask questions, to understand what the child knows and what he wants to know more. For example, ask him: “It seems to me that you are asking me something else: have you talked about it with someone? What did you see? What would you like to know? "
It is probable, in fact, that from the purely scientific field of fertilization the child wants to know something more about deso. "Here we enter a different area but once again it is not good to gloss over" says the psychologist. “It can then be explained that in nature it happens that i males are attracted to females and females to males and that if they are well together they also want to be close, cuddle yourself, hug each other, always emphasizing that it is a natural thing, which manifests itself with age. And above all that it is a beautiful thing because it passes through the love and affection that a man and a woman feel for each other.
There is nothing strange, there is nothing 'dirty' or forbidden, but it is part of the intimate and personal dialogue between a man and a woman who love each other; a relationship that, in addition to words, is also created with physical contact. One thing that also happens to the child, who takes pleasure in being cuddled by his mother ".
To avoid 'trauma' "Just convey the message in a natural and reassuring way, this is why it is important that we parents 'cure' our embarrassment in advance ”concludes the psychologist. "In any case, today's children are generally much more 'scam' than we were at their age, because they have many more sources of information, so they receive certain messages more gradually, and not as sudden revelations".
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Updated on 29.08.2022TAG:
- explain sex to children
- 3-5 children years