"How long are you sleeping?"
What may seem like an innocent question is too complicated for my dazed and dazed mind.
"You mean, how many hours a night? "I replied. It's hard to say.
My therapist, the one I had been looking for after suffering in silence for many months of postpartum depression, explained to me how sleep can affect mood and cause depression.
Every morning I really struggle to get up as my body needs to sleep more.
Since I became a mother for the first time, over 10 years ago, I want to sleep like never before. But try to explain it to a small child or a newborn.
We mothers are at the mercy of their children and for this reason we often get up during the night.
I know it would be better for me to go to bed earlier every night, but I can't help but stay up late for several reasons.
There is something so magical about staying up late while all the other family members have already gone to sleep. For one thing, it's all wonderfully quiet: you can eat, read, relax and do whatever you want. The best thing? Nobody's gonna ask you a damn thing.
It's the only time of day when I can enjoy a hot meal, without having to get up a thousand times. It's the only time I can really see a movie or read a book without interruptions or feelings of guilt. It's like one mini-vacation, which I desperately need after a day that is almost entirely devoted to the needs of others.
We have a routine in our family. After putting the children to bed, my husband and I collapse on the sofa and spend some time on Netflix. Let's have a snack and we tell each other about the day just passed.
It's our only time together alone, since the evenings when only he and I go out are very few. For this reason, I am happy to sacrifice a few hours of sleep in the evening.
When my husband goes to bed, I am often tempted to stay awake even longer. I am an introvert and I need my time alone. Time for myself it is for me a way to recharge my energies.
Even though I know I'll pay for it the next day, the temptation to enjoy a quiet home is often too great to resist. I know some moms do the same thing by getting up early, but I'm a night owl.
When you are a mom, sometimes you feel like you are live in "survival" mode. We are doing our best to fill this important role, and we need to take our mini-breaks whenever we can, even if it means staying up late.
Katy AndersonRead also: Co-sleeping, sleeping in the bed with your baby is good for you