My son calls me by name: here's why and what to do

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Catherine Le Nevez
@catherinelenevez
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My son calls me by name

It may happen that a child starts calling mom - or dad - with the first name. A behavior that can confuse or alarm parents, but which in most cases does not hide particular problems. We talk about it with Cristina Riva Crugnola, Professor of Dynamic Psychology at the University of our city-Bicocca.





In this article

  • My son calls me by name: a simple matter of linguistic confusion
  • A mother who does not fully identify with the role
  • My teenage son calls me by name: the affirmation of identity
  • My son calls another person mom
  • My son calls mom dad

My son calls me by name: a simple matter of linguistic confusion

"If a child starts calling mom by name, they usually do so because, hearing her father call her by her first name, from his grandmother, from other relatives or from friends, he imitates them by doing the same "explains Professor Crugnola." Rightly, he understands that that is his name, and does not worry about what the roles are.



Do not worry, therefore: this behavior certainly does not mean that the child no longer recognizes the mother, it is a simple confusion in language".

Read also: Children's language: 6 FUN ideas to improve it

A mother who does not fully identify with the role

"Another possibility is that the mother herself does not insist on her role, weakly transmitting to her child the use of the term. There are mothers who often repeat phrases like"mom feeds you, tell mom what you did, give mom a kiss ... "while others use a different language and methods. Even some of her fathers speak of her partner to her son by referring to her mother, while others, probably less frequently, call her by her name also by talking about her with her son.



There is no right or wrong way: if the mother does not like to insist on her role, it is right that she express herself as she prefers.

Sometimes it is also possible that some mother does not mind being called by the first name of her child, finding this communication more friendly and unconventional ".

  • If no other problems are highlighted, this choice in itself does not constitute it.
  • If the mother, on the other hand, suffers from it, she can begin to remark the password "mom" in everyday life, inserting it as we have seen in everyday sentences.

"Different is the case of a mother who expresses a real difficulty in identifying herself in her role, accompanied at an effective distance from the child; in this case it may be good to question the situation".

Read also: The secret language of the family, find out which one is yours

My teenage son calls me by name: the affirmation of identity

"When older children call their mother or father by their first name, it is one of the many behaviors put in place by the teens to affirm one's identity as a single individual, For stand out from parents, from the family, in a moment, almost always transitory, of (necessary) rebellion from the family context and from the rules accepted up to that moment. So don't worry about this new habit, which will probably tend to disappear over time ".

Read also: Why do children tell "lies"?

My son calls another person mom

"This is a very special case that occurs when there is in the life of the child a very important care giver, that is, a very present person who assumes an educational and affective role towards the child. An example can be a baby sitter who takes her mother's place a little too much. Some children, however, they confuse the grandmother with the mother, either because the real mother calls the mother who for the son is the grandmother, or because she is a grandmother who takes care of the child all day, creating confusion in roles. To avoid these situations you have to rebalance times and presence, making sure that the mother is the first contact person ".

My son calls mom dad

"Another apparently curious and unusual situation that instead happens to observe with some frequency when the father plays the primary role of care and education; the role, let's say, of mom. Talking about it with your partner you can also rebalance the roles in this case, without worrying too much about this phenomenon ".

The interviewee

Cristina Riva Crugnola, Professor of Dynamic Psychology at the University of our city-Bicocca.

TAG:
  • language development
  • 1-2 children years
  • podcast
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