A force of nature
His name is Tommaso and in the children's area of the furniture factory he does not throw himself sitting in the pool of colored balls, like the other children, but with his head forward and while diving he overwhelms at least three other children. This two-year-old devil has a very sweet appearance, he is always very affectionate, but he looks for dangers with the candle.
For his parents, going to the ice cream parlor with Tommaso means: one quickly throws down his coffee and quickly takes over from the other, who is already running after Tommaso. "We must always be on the lookout for who goes there," says Claudia. Children as her child are usually more prone to accidents, love being in contact with people and are not afraid of anything. At the pool they throw themselves into the pool and at the playground down from the castle. They also always carry out what they set out to do.
Claudia and her husband don't always want to stop and scold Tommaso, the words they use most often with him are “No” and “Not like this!”.
Nobody invites us anymore!
“Once we visited a family of friends,” Claudia recalls, “my son found nothing better to do than climb onto the planter of their beautifully landscaped garden. Our friend didn't find it funny at all and personally took Tommaso down. Which of course my son did not like ”.
The problem: Strangers often only get the nerve-wracking, not the charming, sides of these little pests. The consequence is that parents are no longer able to cultivate certain friendships and can no longer go to certain restaurants. And of course, as a mother or father, one always wonders: why? Why us?
At least in part it can raise the fact that much of this desire to do and experiment has a genetic origin. This innate temperament, therefore, is often inherited from one of the parents (or both).
Four tips for parents
But how can you ensure that a concentration of energy does not constantly jeopardize one's own safety and that of others? How can you help him to live better with his temperament?
Tip number 1: increase attention. During the first years, parents must have a thousand eyes and eliminate or render harmless the sources of danger: fix shelves, block sockets and windows, make sharp knives disappear, etc.
Tip number 2: be clear. Unleashed children need extreme clarity. It would be better then:
tell the child what to do - and not what not to do;
ask a few questions;
provide directions for specific actions (instead of "Tidy up!" better: "The buildings go in the red box". "The cars on the shelf".);
if the child tends to scream, lower their tone of voice;
repeat the exhortations;
speak looking the child in the eye, lightly touching his shoulders or arm, that is, establishing physical closeness.
Tip number three: "slow down" everyday life. The ideal condition would be an adequate number of breaks and not too many activities. Create rest opportunities, reduce television to a minimum or eliminate it altogether and anticipate bedtime in the evening, as sleep is important. Excessive motor activity is often just a symptom of sleep deprivation.
Tip number 4: change your perspective. Don't just see the stress and limitations! Tommaso's parents, for example, in moments of tranquility always find confirmation of how adorable their child is. They are aware of it: if he has broken something again, he has done it because of his overflowing joie de vivre. Thomas is not destructive, he simply needs a wider range of action than that of the other children.
(article from eltern.de)
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You may be interested in other articles in the Psychology section and Adriana Cantisani's advice to parents
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