nag factor bambini
You know when your child takes your soul away because he wants a certain object? When he throws himself on the floor in the shop, he talks to you all the time, does he propose agreements and exchanges? Here, this exhaustion strategy has a name and it's called nag factor. baby young and old know how to use it!
In this article
- Nag factor, or the nagging factor
- Nag factor: children and adolescents
- Parents and nag factor
Nag factor, or the nagging factor
The definition of nag factor it has existed for more than twenty years and is understood as the child's ability to harass parents in order to get what they want. It's about their ability to nag up to exhaustion, typical of childhood and early adolescence, so to convince mom and dad to buy him what he wants.
Read also: Practical guide to manage tantrums
Nag factor: children and adolescents
Tactics for get what you want they are very different according to age. Younger children lead parents to exhaustion through crises, tears and conjurations, playing above all on the embarrassment that one feels when one's child makes a scene in a public place: take him away by pulling him by the arm or satisfy him, perhaps even before he clicks the crisis?
I kidsInstead, they play on the sense of guilt: all my friends have it, you want me to be excluded, but then I am left alone, I will be bullied.
However, the goal is common: to get what they want!
These two different approaches also have different names, according to scholars: for children we are talking about persistent nagging, so the requests are repetitive, the voice gets loud, in the end the parents give in. L'pestering of importance, on the other hand, it is precisely the one that provides more subtle arguments, often learned from the media, regarding in particular the importance of having that particular object.Read also: Children's tantrums, because I learned to say "no"
Parents and nag factor
How do i respond Parents to these nagging requests? There are those who do it with dissent, the most common answer: the firm refusal, no is no; the ambiguous dissent, that is, I tell you no but maybe if you do this I change your mind; the weak rejection, there is no but a little insistence is enough to make mom and dad give in.
Instead there is who procrastinate, hoping that the child forgets the request or promising to fulfill it at particular times, such as a birthday. Too bad that the children understand the strategy very well and therefore come back to remembering the agreement even more often.
Finally there are parents who they negotiate, I buy you what you want if you do this thing: children and young people understand that it takes very little to obtain the object of the deso and they practice behaviors with the sole purpose of obtaining it.
It is not easy to get out of this vicious circle, the fruit of consumerism, which risks cracking the relationship between parents and children. Even if mum and dad are adults and can evaluate situations on a case-by-case basis, the continuous mediation becomes frustrating for all the elements involved. The advice is therefore to choose from time to time, but to be consistent: no it's no, no blackmail, first the duty and then the pleasure. So if you are one of those who do not want to give up, be firm in your no and, from time to time and when you think your child deserves it, surprise him before he puts in place the strategy of nag factor.
Nag Factor: the child-consumer strategies