Expecting a baby is a time of great change for a woman and also for a couple. "The transformation is not only physical, but also psychological: we have to deal with an event that will radically change our life and that can have very profound effects on the intimacy between future parents" underlines Adele Fabrizi, psychotherapist at the Institute of Clinical sexology of the city. A change that has various repercussions from the point of view of relationships and that can complicate the relationship with the partner. So how to deal with sex during pregnancy? Intimacy instead?
The couple, in fact, changes and from two becomes three: "From being married it becomes parental and this can be a very critical step to be faced both before and after childbirth".
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The effects depend on several factors: for example, how satisfactory the couple's sex life was before pregnancy; the woman's difficulty in feeling attractive, especially in the third trimester of pregnancy; and then from the objective conditions of the pregnancy, if the woman is sick or if there are risks and problems.
These are all elements that can profoundly affect sexual understanding. "The most important thing is that future parents prepare for this moment by talking to each other and to the gynecologist, who has the task of reassuring the partners and explaining that sex during pregnancy is good for them, but also for the development of the child - continues the psychotherapist -. If there is a good intimacy and a good complicity and if it is pregnancy it is experienced as a common project, it is easier to maintain a good sexuality ».
The main fears?
- Cause a miscarriage,
- Starting a preterm birth,
- Be less attractive,
- Hurt the little one,
When you are talking about sex in pregnancy, there are many fears that come into play in the couple. Fears that change the relationship and that change over time: "In the beginning, we are above all concerned about causing a miscarriage by doing sex. After the first three months have passed, the fear is that of annoying the fetus or starting a preterm birth. The woman, due to the physical changes, can think of be less attractive, while the partner may be afraid of hurt the little one with penetration ".
Another frequent problem is the dyspareunia, that is, to feel pain during the sexual act. «It is true that, despite the increase in natural lubrication, in the course of pregnancy women can suffer more frequently from local irritation - specifies Adele Fabrizi -. But often the woman who suffers during penetration had this ailment even before. Talking about it with the gynecologist is the best solution ».
Also with regard to the last trimester, in which it is thought that stimulation can induce labor, it must be remembered that "this only happens if the uterus is ready, not before".
In case of:
- threat of abortion
- risk of preterm birth
- previous miscarriages or premature births
- risk of placental abruption
- if you have had blood or amniotic fluid loss
- if there are ongoing vaginal infections
- if there has been a premature rupture of the membranes
In general, then, it is good refrain from sexual intercourse during pregnancy if there is a threat of abortion or preterm birth, previous miscarriages or premature births, if there is a risk of placental abruption, if you have had bleeding or amniotic fluid, and if you have ongoing vaginal infections. In addition, it is not recommended to have sex if there has been a premature rupture of the membranes, if you are in the presence of contractile activity and if you have excessive dilation or shortening of the cervix. «It is not certain, however, that once the problem is overcome, one cannot return to regular sexual activity. And since each case is unique, it is important to always evaluate the situation with your gynecologist ».
If, on the other hand, there are no physical problems and the pregnancy goes well, "there are no contraindications for the fetus during sexual intercourse. Sure, it's good to be a little more cautious and adopt a softer, more sedate style, but still, there's no need to limit your imagination too much. Indeed, it is good to remember that if the mother is well, the baby will also enjoy a moment of well-being ».
In the first trimester of pregnancy, the hormonal changes experienced by the woman can lead to a decline in deso. Nausea, drowsiness, hypersensitivity to odors and strong breast tenderness (which can make even the simple touch of the breast painful) can also row against the desire for sexual activity.
In second trimester of pregnancy many mothers-to-be feel in full shape, their bodies have become accustomed to the new condition and have become very feminine, with larger breasts and rounder shapes. The belly is still easily managed.
In the third trimester, on the other hand, sexual activity can be held back by the fact that the woman feels less attractive and embarrassed or by the concern - often also male - to harm the baby.Read also: The positions of love in pregnancy, the advice of the sexologist Marco Rossi
One of the most critical and common problems during pregnancy is the encumbrance of the belly which can make movements more complicated and make some positions impractical, perhaps much loved by the couple.
"It would be good for the gynecologist himself to give correct information on this point and recommend the best positions for love, so that the couple feels entitled to try them without fear."
The most comfortable, especially in the last months of gestation are:
- She on top of him: allows the couple to make love looking into each other's eyes;
- A spoon: the couple is on the bed next to them, with him behind. It is a comfortable position that prevents too deep penetration and consequently increases the pleasure;
- "Dampens candle": if the conditions allow it, you can experiment with this position with her on the bed, which can decide the timing of the act. An alternative, perhaps more comfortable, may be to use a chair with him sitting and her on it. ;
- Carponi: it is another position that is easily practicable even if the belly is large. You just have to be careful to hold on well to be firm and stable.
- On the other hand, the anal sex, because in these months the woman's risk of developing hemorrhoids and bacterial infections increases.
To know more:
- Sex and intimacy in pregnancy;
- Sex in pregnancy in the first trimester;
- Sex in pregnancy in the second trimester;
- Sex in pregnancy in the third trimester.
- couple life
- pregnancy sex