
Often, after having given birth to a child, the couple struggles to find a sexual relationship and this can, in the long run, wear down the well-being of the two parents. He thought about giving advice to overcome this critical moment of the couple Marialessandra Panozzo, gynecologist, homeopath and psychotherapist, author of the book "The body, the sex, the love" (Terra Nuova Edizioni), a useful text for understanding sexuality, getting in touch with the body and with one's deepest feelings.
The book is aimed not only at new mothers who have recently given birth, but also at women and men, young people and adults: practically all those who wish to have exact medical information and food for thought on the body and love. We interviewed Marialessandra, asking her to tell us something more about sexuality and to point out some suggestions for new mothers who have recently had a baby and want to find an understanding with their partner.
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Sexuality, as it changes according to the different ages of life
Marialessandra explained to us that the sexuality is very different according to age. More precisely, it is linked to the phase of life you live and the emotions you feel in a given period. “If, for example, young girls have more energy and experience more hormone-related sexual deso, over the years the physical need becomes more of a need for calm and deep contact. Especially after menopause: in this delicate period of a woman's life, intimacy and depth are more important. This is also the case for a woman who has just given birth: the need for contact is a need for intimacy and not purely a sexual need ».
Main "stages of pleasure", what are they?
According to the gynecologist, it is important to identify the stages that concern pleasure. «There is a first phase which is that of deso, the second is that of arousal linked to hormonal changes in the body, then there is the moment of pleasure, a phase in which arousal is satisfied. The orgasm phase follows. However, for each stage, a problem can occur: for example, there may be people who do not have deso, while others try it, but do not reach orgasm. These stages are important to identify with certainty the moment in which problems occur and, consequently, to intervene ».
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Men and women: what's the main difference?
The difference between men and women is fundamental and makes men like women and vice versa. Indeed, it is precisely the difference that beauty makes. From a sexual point of view, the main difference is the following: "Man usually has a more direct, simple, precise," easy "sexuality, instead women bring creativity, diversity and also the ability to get out of the box ".
Basically, the man has the advantage of being direct and is able to "bring back to reality" women, who tend to be more cerebral.
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How can a new mother regain self-confidence and deso?
According to the gynecologist it is very important that i new parents find time to spend together. Of course it is important to be with the baby, but you must never lose contact with your partner. Sometimes it is necessary to go out to dinner, to see a film hugging each other, to take a walk, perhaps leaving the little one with the grandmother.
«It is essential to regain confidence in relationship life, which obviously includes sexuality, even if there is a child who requires a lot of attention or if there has been a difficult birth. In my opinion, it is very important to participate in groups of mothers: being with other women who have lived the same experiences, talking and discussing is essential to regain self-confidence, especially, perhaps, if the groups are managed by intelligent midwives ", declares Marialessandra.
Advice for women who have recently given birth
Here are Marialessandra Panozzo's tips to help new mothers regain self-confidence and sexual desire:
1) The hardest thing to accomplish, but one that you absolutely must commit to doing is maintain dialogue with partner. "It is true, the child distorts the times and does not allow time for comparison. But the child must not be the only center of everything: the couple must have moments of communication ».
2) To maintain complicity, it is important that the couple share decisions about the child. The ability to confide in your partner and ask what he or she thinks is essential.
3) The groups of moms, as already mentioned, they are important: being with other women who have lived the same experiences and dealing with them is essential to regain self-confidence.
4) It is absolutely not necessary to close yourself in the house, on the other hand, it is necessary to go out with the little ones, even if it is cold, and try to hang out with friends. Never stay in the loneliness of 24 hours at home. "Unfortunately, the Del Paesene women are exaggerated: the children are overprotected and are often always closed at home, with a lot of stress on the part of the mothers", explains Marialessandra.
5) In the first year of life, the child often stays in the bed: dad and mom must still find a way to make love on the sofa or to maintain their sexual relationship, which is really important.
A book on sexuality
Finally, Marialessandra Panozzo concludes by telling us why she chose to write a book on sexuality. «In gynecology clinics we often talk about sex: many women asked me for advice on what to read and in the end I decided to write a book myself. With the text "The body, sex, love" I want to send the following message: sexuality is an important thing in a couple and must be nurtured, like a plant. It is a piece of us that must not die, because we would lack a strong creative energy. Obviously, the commodification of sex and pornography have nothing to do with this, it is necessary, instead, to restore sex to its true essence, that is, a gift from God ".
Marialessandra Panozzo is a gynecologist, homeopath and psychotherapist. She is in charge of the gynecology clinic for women of the ASL 2 of Lucca, she is a freelancer in Prato and Verona.
His site:
www.ginecologiaomeopatica.com
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- post partum sex
- rediscover sexuality
- give birth
- couple life