Sleep, the 4 sleep programs

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Philippe Gloaguen
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1) Method of the kiss

When the method is useful Your baby is particularly restless and tense in the evening. You feel that something needs to be changed and you want this to happen in a "soft" way.





Here's how to proceed This sleep exercise is all about reward. After the evening ritual, accompany the child to bed and give him a goodnight kiss on the cheek. Promise him you'll come back in a minute and kiss him again, but only if he's resting his head on the pillow or mattress. Exit the room and come back soon after for a basin. If the baby tries to get up, don't scold him, but put him back down gently and remind him that you will only kiss him if he lies down. Try to turn the thing into play. You will notice that the number of kisses and the time it takes for the baby to fall asleep will decrease night after night.

One more help Respect the rules and reward the child without talking and only with kisses, nothing else. Be prepared for the fact that for a few nights you will have to kiss him a lot and for a long time. At first, it can take anywhere from 100 to 200 kisses. Stop it as soon as you notice your baby is falling asleep.

Possible cases Some babies start kissing for up to three hours. However, try to remain steady and calm. If you can, you are well on your way. This method can also be heavy on your back, as you have to bend over to the baby every time. If you are having trouble, pat the baby on the hand or head.


2) Method withdrawn

When the method is useful The bedtime rituals are getting longer and you realize that the bond between you and your child is too close. Perhaps for some time he has only fallen asleep if you hold him close to you or hold his hand.



Here's how to proceed The idea behind this sleep exercise is that the baby is more likely to accept many small changes than one big revolution. Sit in a chair next to the bed until the baby falls asleep. The next night, pull the chair away from the bed a little and the one after a while. This way you move further and further away, until you are no longer sitting in the room, but in front of the door, still managing to maintain voice contact. How long it will take your baby to fall asleep depends on how tight your bond was at the time of the bedtime ritual.

One more help Avoid eye contact and do not encourage the baby to seek physical contact. The best thing is to read him a book by the light of a small lamp. Get out of bed only as much as your child tolerates without becoming restless. However, if you feel that the child is playing some kind of power play, accelerate the retreat. Important: pamper the baby a lot before putting him to bed; in this way he receives the dose of closeness that until now he had always had at the time of falling asleep.

Possible cases Don't lose sight of your goal. With this technique there is a risk of being confined to one position. It may happen that the child protests when you leave the room. For a few evenings, stand guard at the door and do some activity nearby, so that the child notices you are there.

3) Pendulum method

When the method is useful You can't stand the baby crying, but you have the feeling that he is absolutely capable of falling asleep on his own. And you are determined to help him do it.


Here's how to proceed After the evening ritual, put the child to bed, awake. Explain to him that you will leave the room, but that you will remain nearby and that he must remain lying down. Choose a bedtime phrase ("Time to sleep," "Now sleep, my darling" or whatever), then walk out of the room with determination. If the child stands up, protests loudly or screams, go back, put him back in bed and repeat the sentence. Then go out again. Keep repeating the procedure until the baby falls asleep.

One more help Avoid eye contact with the baby and try to keep a calm voice. The child must be bored and sleep. The important thing is not to change anything, neither the voice nor the behavior. Your possible tension affects the child, who consequently does not calm down.

Possible cases This method works, but it can take a long time to get results. Therefore there is a risk that you will lose patience and react with stress. Also because maybe you will find yourself sleeping less than before. Then try to alternate with your partner. Or try getting some sleep during the day.

4) Metodo Ferber *

When the method is useful Ti seem to have tried them all. Falling asleep has become a power play that makes your child as miserable as you are. The child is over two years old.

Here's how to proceed After the goodnight kiss, leave the room. If the baby cries, come back after 30 seconds, calm him down, but do not lift him from the crib. Then go out again. If the baby starts crying again, wait five minutes before returning to him. Calm him down again (for no more than two to three minutes) and go out. Continue like this, increasing the amount of time you spend before returning to the baby by five minutes each time. The first day comes to 15 minutes. On the second day, start at 10 minutes and go up to 20. Continue to take a 30 minute rhythm and keep it until the baby, after a few days, "gives up" and falls asleep quickly.

One more help This method can be stressful, as many babies cry for a long time, which most parents struggle with. The best thing is to get a watch to know when to get back to the baby. But no kitchen alarm clock, so as not to disturb the little one who falls asleep. Stop re-entering the room as soon as you notice the baby is calmer, as your reappearance may trigger new screams of protest.

Possible cases You need great firmness and there is a risk that you will give up too quickly. Alternate with your partner, making it one day for one. If you are a single parent, make sure you can count on the physical or telephone presence of someone who can give you the support you need: your mother, a friend or a neighbor.

* named after its "inventor", the American Dr. Richard Ferber

Read also: Never sleepy

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  • sleep
  • 1-2 children years
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