The 50 things I learned as a parent

Here is a list of 50 things you learn when you become a parent. From the blog of journalist Melissa Sher of huffingtonpost.com



1 I have learned that the best toys are low noise ones.


2 I have learned to foster friendships with children old enough to babysit my child.


3 I learned how scary it is to have a 2 year old walking on top of you while you thought he was sleeping in his crib.


4 I have learned that a child's instinct is not to avoid puddles.


5 I learned that how you cut the sandwich is as important as what you put inside.




6 I have learned that you never stop buying advice books for children.


7 I have learned that it is important that children do not stop taking their afternoon naps.

Read also: Up to what age do babies have to nap?


8 I have learned that if you give them a spy kit, then they will use it on you.


9 I learned to type the message "When are you coming home?" very quickly.

10 I have learned that if you hear the doors slam, it means that the children are fighting.


11 I have learned that young children use the words 'fart', 'stinker', 'pooch' ... so often because for a baby who has just stopped napping this is the height of insult.


12 I learned that the expression "you have to break a few eggs to make an omelette" is especially true when cooking with children.


13 I learned that "yes" is the answer when a child asks you if the tooth fairy really exists.


14 I learned that if you always win when playing with a three-year-old, it means that you have really lost.


15 I learned that the more it grows, the more falls hurt.

16 I learned to recognize a married person if he wears a wedding ring, and to recognize a parent if his smartphone is covered in grease and crumbs.


17 I learned that after the third year checkup, your pediatrician should wish you good luck.



18 I have learned that you can be blown away when asked what a tampax is.



19 I have learned that if a child who has recently learned to use the potty tells you that he can no longer find his underwear, you better start looking for them right away ...


20 I have learned that nothing can do more tenderness than a baby wrapped in a towel after a bath.


21 I have learned that flying with small children is not the worst thing. It is to accompany them to the bathroom during the flight.

Read also: Traveling by plane with small children


22 I learned not to believe the title: "Recipes that even the fussiest kids will love."

Read also: 6 rules for feeding your baby


23 I learned the importance of plastic under sheets.


24 I learned that when the little one finally falls asleep to take his nap, the doorbell always rings.


25 I have learned that if your child finds a drawing of his or her in the trash, you will have a lot of explanations to give ...


26 I have learned that young children are very good at detecting if someone has just eaten chocolate.


27 I've learned, the hard way, that when you have a baby, it's important to have quick reflexes.


28 I've learned that the more children you have, the easier it is to leave them alone at home.



29 I've learned that asking your kids to wash the car is a good idea only if you specify that they don't have to open the door and put the barrel in it.


30 I have learned that if I want a snack between meals, I have to eat it in secret.



31 I have learned that the biggest difference between young children and older ones is that little children don't leave you alone and older ones want to be left alone.


32 I have learned that parks, museums, libraries and playgrounds become infinitely more fun when the adult says it's time to go home.


33 I learned the names of all the dinosaur species that lived on Earth.


34 I learned about the toilets of all the bars in the city.

77 PHOTOS

Little pests free at home: 77 funny photos taken on the web

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Free to express their "creative flair", this is what our beloved little ones are able to combine at home. We have collected the cutest photos on ...


35 I learned not to buy Halloween costumes in advance because children's tastes change ... quickly.


36 I have learned that if I schedule a weekend away, it will be the same weekend chosen by the viruses to attack us ...


37 I have learned that there is always something that escapes.


38 I learned to tell the difference between a "I hurt myself" cry and a "I want you to believe I hurt myself" cry.


39 I learned that the opposite of 'get rich quick' is 'have children'.


40 I have learned that even though I know that it would take a village to raise a child, I cannot stand the advice of strangers.


42 I learned not to correct a child when he puts his sunglasses on backwards.


43 I have learned that there is nothing more suspicious than a child playing in another room in silence.


44 I learned that reading a school notice about lice makes my head itch immediately.


45 I learned that with small children, you get more from telling fairy and elf stories than yelling to do something.

46 I learned that when it comes to aerosol, all soft toys have to do it first.

Also read: Tricks to get your child to aerosol


47 I learned to answer questions about Santa's existence with the shrewdness of a CIA agent who can't reveal a state secret.


48 I learned not to buy 'smart' toys on my own: they would end up among the many 'smart' toys never used.

Read also: 10 tips on choosing the right toy


49 I've learned that I actually know very little about parenting.


50 But I have learned that this is not important to my children.

Updated on 03.10.2022

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