The crying of the newborn

Who I am
Marie-Ange Demory
@marie-angedemory
Author and references
Source: Shutterstock

The crying of the newborn

I cry as long as I like and I cry as much as I can.



I cry because I can't speak.

I cry for solidarity with my friends.



I cry like babies all over the world cry.

I cry so someone will come sooner or later.

Thus begins a kind of nursery rhyme that the pediatrician Alessandro Volta he dedicated to cry of children and that Federica Grittini, educator of the Cemp clinic in our city, loves reading in his groups with new parents. After all, you know, the crying of the newborn is one of the issues that worry mom and dad the most, even if it really is one of the most normal and natural human manifestations there is.

In this article

  • What is the crying of the newborn? 
  • Why does a newborn cry? 
  • How to react to the baby's cry 
10 PHOTOS

How to pick up a baby step by step

go to the gallery

A mother instinctively knows how to hold a baby in her arms, but there are often insecurities on the part of new parents. Do you have to support your head? What if I hold it too tight? Must not...



Read also: Growth spurt: what it is and how to deal with it serenely

What is the crying of the newborn?

Is an communication tool: indeed, the only communication tool available to the newborn. "Crying is the only way that newborn babies and in the first weeks of life know to communicate something to us, which is not only hunger, cold or stomach ache, but also lack of satisfaction of a primary need (protection, comfort, contact) or the expression of an emotion"says Grittini, who is also the author, together with Simona Brunetti, of the book I'll explain it to you, on the first twelve months of a child's life told from her point of view.



Not only that: crying is also one of the fundamental states of a newborn's existence. "During the day - explains Grittini - the baby of a few days or a few weeks alternates some different states: active wakefulness (for example when he eats), quiet wakefulness (when he observes the world with his beautiful eyes wide open), deep sleep, light sleep , half asleep and, in fact, crying ". With the passing of the weeks, in particular between the second and third month of life, the time spent in the state of crying decreases in favor of that spent for example in active wakefulness.

Read also: The skills of the newborn: all the skills of the first days and weeks of life

Why does a newborn cry?

The fundamental reason is to let us know that it exists, that it exists. "Crying is as if he were saying Hey, I'm here, look at me: I need something and I need your help to satisfy this need," explains Grittini. Emphasizing that, in this sense, crying is expression of the strong urge to live that animates the child.

As anticipated, between the basic needs of the newborn there are those of protection, comfort and contact, which even come before hunger. "It is now scientifically proven that without the satisfaction of these needs children grow up deprived: for this reason it is absurd to advise mothers - as sometimes unfortunately still feels done - not to take babies in their arms, otherwise they will be spoiled". The newborn does not want to be picked up, he really needs it: "At that age des and needs coincide" explains the educator.

Read also: Bonding mom and baby: 6 ways to promote it

And attachment theory tells us that the more those needs are met in very early childhood, the more peaceful and secure the child will go into the world when the time comes (from crawling explorations, to first steps, onwards).

Crying is always a request for help that must be accepted without hesitation. The idea that running when the baby cries is equivalent to making him grow up "spoiled" is the legacy of a distant time marked by a harmful indifference towards the emotional well-being of newborns.

Then, of course, the baby cries for communicate that he is hungry, feels cold (or hot), is wet, feels pain. But also for express emotions, because the primary emotions dIn the human being, that is, joy, sadness, anger, fear, disgust and surprise, which can manifest themselves, perhaps in a somewhat confused way, through tears.

Read also: Emotional education: 7 PRACTICAL tips to better manage children's emotions

How to react to the baby's cry

"If we think about it, the baby's crying is something that everyone wants to hear at first: health workers and parents in the delivery room, and then in the early days maybe even the grandparents, to hear the baby's voice". To confirm that, in fact, crying is the first, powerful, manifestation of existence in the newborn.

After this first impact, however, the baby's crying tends to be experienced in a negative way. Of course, we know well that it is very tiring for the new mother and the new father to follow the new rhythms imposed by the newborn and often punctuated by crying, but there is also the fact that socially and culturally we attribute a negative meaning to crying, of discomfort, of malaise, and therefore we welcome it in a very negative, anxious and worried way. "Actually we should be able to convince ourselves that the cry of the newborn is above all a means of communication, a way that the child uses to enter into dialogue with us"recalls Grittini.

Which therefore suggests welcoming him with a mental attitude of openness to dialogue, rather than an immediate solution to the problem.

As we have seen there are a thousand reasons why a newborn can cry and sometimes the precise reason may not even be clear to him. "So it is unthinkable to always have the solution ready in your pocket, or delude yourself that in a few days you will be able to get to know your child so well that you will understand at the first sobs what is wrong, "says the pedagogist." It takes time to get to this point, and there will always be moments in which, however, will not be able to understand well why the child is crying. In the meantime, what can be done is pay attention, take action as if to tell the child look that I am here with you, for you, I understand that there is something wrong, let's see together what we can do".

Sometimes the solution may be a diaper change, other times a walk in the arms, "heart to heart", still others - for those who are breastfeeding - a feed: indeed, in this regard it is good to remember that the mother's breast is not "dispenser" only of food, but also of comfort and consolation: one more reason to support breastfeeding on demand.

I cry as long as I like
by Alessandro Volta

I cry as long as I like and I cry as much as I can.
I cry because I can't speak.
I cry for solidarity with my friends.
I cry like babies all over the world cry.
I cry so someone will come sooner or later.
I cry because I don't know what to do.
I cry because I'm tired of looking at the white ceiling.
I cry because I did a lot of poop.
I cry because I'm hot, because I'm cold,
because I'm fine, but I don't want to give you satisfaction.

I cry I don't know why, tell me if you know,
or ask the pediatrician he studied.

I cry because for now that's what I do best.
I cry because this is how I create a great uproar.
I cry because you, at my age, were crying too.

I don't remember why I started crying,
but first, I'm sure there was a reason.

Obviously I cry because I'm hungry and not
I still get to the fridge handle.

After the meal, I cry because I ate too much
and I have air in my belly.

But crying doesn't hurt, you don't die of crying,
indeed if I didn't cry I would die.

When I cry I'm sure you remember
of me and that you feel bad for me.

In reality I never cry for nothing, when I cry it's because I want to
something and at my age des and needs always correspond.
So don't worry too much and try to understand instead
what do I need so we all get calm and quiet.
And soon we will start again ... ..

You might also like:

  • the 5 S to calm the crying of a newborn
  • the tricks to calm a newborn who cries often
  • the tricks to calm the crying of the newborn that simulate the return to the mother's womb
  • understand the baby's crying
  • why babies stop crying when parents stand up
  • needs or whims: understanding the baby's cry
  • the newborn cries interruptedly: what to do?
  • is it dangerous if the baby stops breathing suddenly when he cries?
Also read: Babies stop crying when parents stand up. Here because

Questions and answers

What is the crying of the newborn? 

It is a communication tool: indeed, the only communication tool available to the newborn. Crying is the only way that newborn babies and in the first weeks of life know to communicate something to us, which is not only hunger, cold or stomach ache, but also the lack of satisfaction of a primary need (protection , comfort, contact) or the expression of an emotion.

Why does a newborn cry? 

The fundamental reason is to let us know that it exists, that it exists. Crying is like saying Hey, I'm here, look at me: I need something and I need your help to satisfy this need. In this sense, crying is an expression of the very strong urge to live that animates the child.   

How to react to the baby's cry? 

It is unthinkable to delude yourself that in a few days you will be able to get to know your baby so well that you will understand what's wrong with the first sobs. It takes time to get to this point, and there will always be times when you won't be able to understand why the baby is crying. In the meantime, what you can do is pay attention, take action as if to tell the child "look, I'm here with you, for you, I understand that there is something wrong, let's see together what we can do". Sometimes the solution may be a diaper change, other times a walk in the arms, "heart to heart", still others a breastfeed: indeed, in this regard it is good to remember that the mother's breast is not only a "dispenser" of food, but also of comfort and consolation.

TAG:
  • child's agenda
  • to cry
add a comment of The crying of the newborn
Comment sent successfully! We will review it in the next few hours.