The whim of the child is the answer to difficulties

Who I am
Marie-Ange Demory
Author and references

In the process of growth, children inevitably have to climb several "flights of stairs", that is, face different tests. Particularly in the first five years of age, the relationship with the parent is fundamental for their psychophysical development. Many of the trials that the child faces, and the degree of difficulty he finds in overcoming them, depend on this relationship. It is the parent, above all, who in his education imposes rules on the child to respect.

The proposed rules and models are naturally variable, both in quality and quantity, from one family to another. Just as different are the individual difficulties of children in dealing with them. But in general, given that they are essential to help the child in his path towards self-sufficiency, it must be assumed that they are adequate for her ability to adapt. So proportionate to age, maturity, aptitudes and his psychophysical identity.

I'm not!

Of course, in imposing rules, not always everything goes smoothly. A behavior dictated by the adult can be indulged without problems, or generate conflict. Or maybe, at different times, generate one of the two opposite responses. Caprice is one of the manifestations of this conflict. A natural and in some ways healthy response, much healthier, for example, than apathy or regression. Unless, of course, the tantrum is excessively frequent and uncontrollable.

“The whim itself is in fact an answer to the difficulties and at the same time a further test - says Marchionne - exactly like climbing a flight of stairs. Not everyone makes the same effort, there are those who reach the top with just a little shortness of breath, those sweaty and those exhausted ”.

If the relationship with the parents and in general the imposition of models of behavior are the main cause of the whim, it should not be forgotten that many dynamics are also generated outside the family environment.

I don't like school!

In kindergarten, at school, in the relationship with adults, but also with other children, there can be many reasons for discomfort and difficulties to overcome. Which can trigger both capricious and immediate reactions on the spot. That later, once back in the family, perhaps under the pretext of a cause which is in itself absolutely banal, but which conceals other reasons.

Therefore, the invitation to careful observation and knowledge of one's own little ones is fundamental.

It takes a lot of power of observation

It is therefore necessary to arm yourself with holy patience and refine, right from the start, a fundamental gift for the parent: one's spirit of observation. Hard? Certainly, and sometimes even tiring. But it will certainly be encouraging to know that the prizes will not be long in coming. Not only will you be able to better solve the whim of the moment, but you will even be able to learn how to prevent bad moods and their degeneration into desperate screams and screams!

Read all the in-depth information on Caprices

The whims of children

Whims, how to understand them

Observing your children allows you to evaluate their behaviors. Whims included. Read the whole article

Whim is the child's response to difficulties

Whims can be the (mostly healthy) response to educational rules imposed in the family or to external difficulties, in kindergarten or school. How to get out? With observation and a lot of patience. Read the whole article

Whims, the main causes

Tiredness and hunger, emotional part of the brain not yet developed, psychological needs, request for help from external causes, parents too stressed and activation of the wrong part of the child's brain by the parents: these are the six main causes of tantrums. Read the whole article

Temper tantrums due to fatigue, hunger, eating too much sugar or additives

Tiredness and hunger are the main cause of crying, sometimes desperate, of babies from 0 to 12 months. Even a 'wrong' diet, for example with too much sugar, can trigger restlessness and aggression. Read the whole article

Whims without control. Or the 'temper tantrum'

If the child bursts into a kind of hysterics, parents must take into account that the emotional part of the brain is not yet well developed and therefore has lost control. The best attitude: reassure him with a hug. Read the whole article

Whims that express psychological needs

The human brain, especially when it is in the process of being defined and developed, is a starving brain. Hungry for stimuli. Among the psychological needs that Sunderland places among the psychological needs, there is also this type of appetite. Read the whole article

Stress tantrums outside and inside the home

Did something happen at school? Are parents under stress? Sometimes tantrums are simply the response to external or familiar stressors. Read the whole article

If you want to ask other mothers for advice, enter the Forum, Education section

  • moods
  • children rules
  • children education
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