The world of children: how to enter it to understand it better

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Catherine Le Nevez
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We have forgotten it, but we too once lived in an enchanted world. Bringing back those years is a way to find educational ideas as effective as a magic powder. This is the thesis of the last book of the psychopedagogistsand Elisabetta Rossini and Elena Urso, Of children and other magic (Bur, 13 euros), which invites mothers and fathers to measure up to children and adopt their point of view. Here are some tips.

0-5 years: whims and fears

The early years of childhood are often filled with whims. «The child would like to control the world around him, unknown and complicated. An example is the baby crying to call mom. I cry and my mother arrives, but if I cry and she is late then I despair as if to punish her for her "insubordination". Take him in your arms without fear of spoiling him: the little one does not understand, but he "feels" the comforting embrace », explains Urso.

When he is older, how to deal with the tantrums in the evening?

«A classic setback is when the child refuses to come to the table because he is playing. There is no need to get stuck: rather allow them to bring some toys with them. With a simple and understandable sentence you can suggest the idea that his puppets are hungry, why not invite them to dinner? »Says Rossini.

The bathroom also often creates conflicts

«Here, too, it is advisable to enter their fairy world with grace. Just a "Don't you think that dinosaur needs a shampoo?" to transform the bathroom routine into a fabulous play session », continues the pedagogist.

And how to deal with fears, one of all that of "monsters"?

“It is useless to try to resolve rationally by insisting that monsters do not exist. Better to arm yourself with imagination, taking for example an empty bag and explaining that it contains an invisible but monster-chasing powder, spread it well before going to sleep and leave the bag to him in case of sudden need ", suggests the expert. In short, no rigidity, but hospitality ... with a touch of cunning.

From 6 years old: lies and virtual reality

With the beginning of school, the child is now very clear that the world does not move according to his desires but that there are rules to be respected. It is no coincidence that this is the period of first lies.

"These are usually defensive strategies, such as a vote or a prank kept hidden," continues Urso. Here, too, it is better to move gently. «Let's not unmask it, let's just overlook some little lies. If we decide to "catch them", let's do it without sanctions: the children "fix" reality to escape frustrations and sorrows, after all we often do it too ».

Another argument is to explain, when they watch TV and PC, the difference between reality and fiction. “There is only one system: spend some time with them in front of the video and explain that that incredible parkour jump was tried dozens of times before the perfect sequence was filmed. In this case it is better to be very clear: often what you see on the screen is not reality », concludes the expert.

Imaginary friend: instructions for use

«Don't worry if your child has an imaginary friend: he knows very well that he doesn't exist, but this invisible figure is often a trick that the little one needs to project fears and frustrations out of himself. Welcome your "partner" without hesitation and, above all, learn to listen to this invisible alter ego. Use it as a communication channel: your child will often use him to express his uncertainties and fears », explains Elisabetta Rossini.


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