The two children who wreaked havoc - Katia, 25
"The unexpected pregnancy upset my plans twice: the first time I was 21 and I had the impression that my life was about to begin. I had just broken a historic engagement and had started working, after vocational school, as a cook in a hotel I had just fallen in love with another boy and had been living a happy story with him for four weeks, even though we lived a few hundred kilometers away.
Then suddenly the tiredness, and that continuous malaise. But I wasn't thinking about a pregnancy, when the doctor told me I couldn't believe it. At first I cried with anger, I thought I ruined my life. My boyfriend, on the other hand, was delighted. He absolutely wanted the baby. I struggled for days, but kept going to work. Then one day I confessed to my boss, he too has a family and advised me to continue the pregnancy.
But it didn't convince me, on the contrary: I was more and more determined to have an abortion. But when I told my boyfriend, he started to cry, increasing the doubts I had even more. Eventually I quit my new job (I was still in my probationary period) and went to live with my boyfriend.
But other problems were yet to come: after all, I hardly knew my boyfriend and at the first fight the doubts came back to the surface. I looked for an apartment, but I was financially dependent on him and this weighed heavily on me. When our little girl was born, however, I realized that I had done the right thing: life with her was so beautiful and so we decided to have another child. Another girl came and we got married.
After I finished breastfeeding the youngest girl and when the older one started going to kindergarten, I started looking for work again. In the meantime, I started taking the pill. I forgot it one night, but I didn't have any major problems and took it later. It just didn't work.
When I noticed the first signs and the test confirmed my doubts, it was even more difficult than with the first unplanned pregnancy. This time, in fact, I knew what awaited us and how much another child would upset our plans. It was a flurry of emotions, also because my husband didn't want a third child at all costs. Not only that: in that period my husband lost his job and I almost had a breakdown.
Luckily my midwife got me back on track. When I called her she just said to me: "You are in the right conditions to have a baby, what more do you want?" She was right. And as soon as I accepted my fate, I felt better. A few weeks later my husband had found a new job and the worries disappeared.
I never thought I'd have three kids. But I learned to leave it to fate and to think that everything will go well. Obviously three children are sometimes tiring to manage, but soon I will have a part-time job worth 400 euros a month. After the birth of my baby I cried with joy for the first time, with the other two girls it didn't happen to me.
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