Vacation with the mother-in-law: the guide to survive

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Catherine Le Nevez
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You have a few days off and you want your children to enjoy their grandparents (or uncles), thus fostering family ties rightly. However, it can sometimes happen that what was originally designed to be a moment of relaxation and fun, becomes a real nightmare for various misunderstandings and incompatible lifestyles.



For example, if we are the ones who spend the holidays at the grandparents' house, we must respect their rules and their lifestyle. If we disagree or are unwilling to adapt, it is best to look for other accommodations. When it is grandparents who come to our home on vacation, it is equally important that they understand the rules and habits we have.



In both cases, high tones or reproaches are never needed. Mutual respect must always be maintained and, at the same time, abide by the rules established in every family environment. Therefore, it is necessary to adapt and change your habits a little and, at the same time, be as clear as possible.

READ ALSO: Benefits and Risks of Summer Camps for Children

Having said that, is it possible to go on vacation and live peacefully with the in-laws or, in general, with relatives? Yes, you can do it, just keep in mind the following tips, suggested by the Serpadres.es magazine:

  1. The basic family is the one you create, not the one you come from. With that in mind, we can start organizing and letting the rest of the relatives travel.
  2. Vacation planning shouldn't be done on the last day. Also, don't wait until everyone is together to decide where to go and what to do. It is recommended that you start talking to relatives at least a week or two in advance.
  3. If you plan visits to different homes, it is important that there are exclusive moments for each couple. You shouldn't organize your holidays without providing moments of privacy.
  4. If with a relative (or with a brother-in-law or father-in-law) there are important conflicts, but you do not want to spoil the general atmosphere, the stay should be shortened as much as possible. Sometimes a coffee or a snack can be more than enough. Short difficulties are much better tolerated.
  5. Confide in your partner and understand in advance what to do in the event of a conflict about something or with someone in particular. One of the best solutions is to change the subject of conversation or stand up without aggression and change places. In these cases it is necessary to demonstrate firmness and to show a response from the couple "in unison".
  6. Encourage each other after the "test passed". If the holidays with relatives went well, it is important to congratulate and rejoice.
Read also: Summer and children: grandparents, campus or babysitter?

How to get along with in-laws when on vacation

Okay, you're about to go on a trip with your in-laws, your partner's parents. Your dynamic mate (or sophisticated mate) may suddenly turn into their beloved (or their beloved) and insufferable teenager. Here, then, are some tips - identified by Lonely Planet and Telegraph.co.uk - to survive a trip with the in-laws:



  1. Try to understand their "travel style". Find out soon so you can prepare yourself appropriately and mentally. Ask your other half for information, who must inform you about everything, even the most delicate issues.
  2. Also make sure the in-laws are well informed about you. Encourage your partner to tell the in-laws everything they need to know about your habits. Especially if you don't want to explain your passionate vegetarianism just as your father-in-law eagerly contemplates the Argentine meat menu.
  3. Ask everyone to submit a list of travel des. If you start your journey by knowing everyone's desires, you can satisfy their preferences at least a little with love.
  4. Talk soon. Never make assumptions about who will pay for what. The in-laws may own an island, but that doesn't mean they want to pay for your cocktail. And if you have the heaviest wallets, your generosity with money could embarrass the in-laws. Try to create a common pot at the beginning of the holiday and then draw on that for museum tickets and meals.
  5. Let "the group breathe". Also plan some privacy. Make sure you spend a romantic day or half day with your partner (if the in-laws are clingy, invent food poisoning).
  6. Gently balance decision-making powers. Parents never stop being protective, so you may find yourself having to do what your in-laws, whom they assume they know best, say. Go with the flow, but gently regain some control by offering to drive or book tickets for an event. Being behind the wheel or doing some planning reminds them of your competence without sparking an intergenerational fray.
  7. Learn from each other. Don't completely dismiss the travel preferences of in-laws. Maybe you took a day trip while they lingered in local cafes - try sharing your experiences over dinner and putting yourself in their shoes the next day.
  8. Keep yourself carefree. Traveling together levels the "playing field", as you are all out of your comfort zone. But the likelihood of tensions also increases. If squabbles break out, don't get into it, but cultivate the subtle art of knowing how to change the subject ("Oh look, a cat!").
  9. If things get worse, don't blame your partner. Whatever bothers you while traveling with your in-laws, don't go wild with them or your partner. Your significant other is twice as embarrassed as you are, so try to laugh at it together when you get back to your space.
  10. Don't lose sight of the joy of traveling. If family feuds suddenly break out or you are targeted by in-laws with prying questions, it's easy to lose sight of why you're there. For the sake of travel, don't let misunderstandings spoil the pleasure of exploring a new place.
  11. Be generous. Not only from an economic point of view (if you can, without exceeding). If your mother-in-law is babysitting, don't bully and don't insist at all costs to get the baby to go to bed. Let her have her way too. If your son-in-law is ready to serve her (disgusting) favorite dish, eat it and sing her praises (or put it on a napkin and then give it to the dog, if appropriate).

FONTI: Telegraph.co.uk; Lonely Planet; Serpadres.es; Edition.cnn.com



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