The child throws objects: how to make him stop?
Passed the exciting milestone of 1 year, the sweet little angel begins to have an ever wider 'repertoire' of skills and behaviors that surprise mom and dad. Each new conquest, between 18 and 24 months, is welcomed with smiles and tenderness but sometimes the 'founds' of the child displace the parents a little.
A fairly typical case is that in which the little one no longer limits himself to throwing objects on the ground with the explicit playful invitation (and infinite!) to take them back but it seems to want to 'center'who is around him. In this case, of course, the classic game of experimentation and relationship, typical of this age group, turns into an action that could harm someone.
How is it possible to make him understand that he has to stop because it is dangerous? Here are 5 tips for Loredana della cittàno, psychologist psychotherapist, collaborator of the Catholic University of our city (and mother of two children).8 PHOTOS
8 simple steps to help children manage angergo to the gallery
Anger management is a milestone in the growth of our kids. Here are some tips to share with them from the American website WebMD
In this article
- Look the little one in the eye and tell him it's not done
- Observe the child and try to identify on which occasions he throws the objects
- If the child throws objects when he is angry, help him to manage his emotions
- Every little one is different and has their own times but in the end they learn to self-regulate
- Give the child the freedom to experiment as long as it doesn't hurt himself or others
1. Look the little one in the eye and tell him it's not done
When the child seems to purposefully throw an object at someone, first of all it is important to make him understand immediately, clearly, that it is not acceptable behavior. According to the psychologist, it is advisable to pick him up and make eye contact by calmly saying: 'No, you don't! I understand that you are angry but you cannot destroy the house or hurt people! '.
"In this phase of our baby's life, around 18 months - but also after - it is essential that the messages are short to be effective because the baby is unable to elaborate speeches that are too long", he explains. Loredana della cittàno.
2. Observe the child and try to identify on what occasions he throws the objects
To put an end to these episodes that can have negative consequences for those around the 'thrower' baby (or for the house!), it is essential to observe it carefully.
"Monitoring in which contexts these behaviors occur or at what period of the day is very important to solve them. It is also necessary to keep in mind the needs of the child: sometimes, in the city, he does not have enough opportunities to stay in a free space where he can give vent to his energies ", says the psychologist.
Also, according to the expert, it would be useful understand if the child tends to carry out this behavior in relation to particular people because it could be a reaction of annoyance, impatience, or fatigue.
3. If the child throws objects when he is angry, help him manage his emotions
If by observing the child, the parent understands that the throwing of objects is a manifestation of anger, it is essential to help him 'name' his emotions. This means gradually accompanying him to recognize his moods.
At the same time, it is necessary to explain that all emotions are accepted (for example: 'Mom understands you, you are angry ... tired ... happy!') But some behaviors are not.
From the psychologist's point of view, a possible strategy in these moments is also to simply try to distract him by proposing a game that is attractive to him. In this way, it is possible to shift his attention towards a suitable activity.Read also: How to manage children's anger, 9 foolproof tips
4. Every little one is different and has their own times but in the end they learn to self-regulate
In any case, it is good to keep in mind that there is no one recipe for everyone: "every child has his own individuality and must be respected", says the psychologist.
Sometimes, the child acts like this, for example, for the simple fact that he feels neglected or wants to attract the attention of the adult. And, if he throws an object sharply - as the therapist explains - most likely the parent won't take his eyes off him.
At this stage, a trick - simple but useful - is that of prevent certain behaviors by keeping objects that could be dangerous out of reach (at the table, for example, it is better to pay attention to where the dishes are placed and, in general, ornaments and heavy objects must be well stored).
However, the tendency to throw objects is a transitory (and widespread) phase that many children go through. "To the parents it may seem very hard but little by little the child understands the effect of his behavior and becomes capable of self-regulating", says Loredana della cittàno.
5. Give the child the freedom to experiment as long as it doesn't hurt himself or others
According to the psychologist, it is important to leave the child the opportunity to experiment as long as it does not harm himself and others.
"In this age group, the child goes through the 'sensory-motor period', as the well-known psychologist J. Piaget defined it: he wants to explore the world and observe the effect of his actions.
For him it is a satisfaction to hear the noise that an object makes when it falls, or to observe how far it goes, he finally feels effective in acting on the world ", he concludes. Loredana della cittàno. Let's not forget it.Read also: The importance of play in children: play is a serious matter
Questions and answers
How to make the child understand that throwing objects is dangerous?
Let's look him in the eye and express the ban with a short and clear message, such as “No, it's not done! I understand that you are angry, but you cannot hurt people '”.
Why does the child throw objects?
Sometimes, our kids throw things up to let us know that they feel neglected by us and that they would like more attention.
How to manage anger in children?
Jars of calm are a visual stimulus that children can easily focus on: just shake it and the glitter from above slowly floats to the bottom, creating a magical and calming effect.
- the child throws the objects
- baby items
- 1-2 children years